~`Living in Lies`~
I didn't want to believe that I didn't have parents. But it was true. then I start to believe that there is someone out there for me. But that wasn't true either. I am living in lies...the lies I made up to make me happy...just once.How sad and pathetic....I've always wanted to be happy but I have to lie to myself to make me happy. It's no wonder why I believe the teasings and jokes from my boyfriend. I bet he isn't the one for me...I don't have to think it...I live in lies....I can't kill myself if I tried. My life will continue as a torturement.
I love him..and I thought he loves me...and together we'll live happily. All lies.............there is no happiness for me. Whether I want to believe it or not, it's the truth. I can't be happy because I never deserve it nor will I ever be able to achieve it. I can't be happy unless life is nothing but a lie. I hated myself for being so gullible towards people's lies. I would believe anything...and just like that...I am teased and joked at. People would laugh...and I knew..that deep down..I was lying, too. I lie in order to make a 'fake' happiness. Because I knew that my future can never be happy, no matter what I say. Things for me will never come out like I wanted...and I can't expect my boyfriend to stay with me forever. He will leave me....once he has enough of me. Soon...he will leave and I will be alone...all alone...with only lies to make me happy. I am living in my own lies.
posted by Luna @ 12:56 PM
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