+Sick at Heart+
From Sunday to today, I'm sick. I have a sore throat, a cold, and runny nose. And I cough here and there. (*cough*) I'm currently at school and wished nothing more than to go back home and rest (*cough*) and make sure that my boyfriend is alright. I felt terrible..for one thing, I feel like I was the worse girlfriend ever because of the fact that I made my boyfriend stay up when he was tired and ill. (*cough*) (*cough*) But I don't want to miss school so I have to make up all that work my teachers planned on giving me. I drank 2 large glasses of apple juice that claims to have 130% of Vitamin C. I had no choice than to drink it because there was no orange juice in my house and I need to get better.*~*~*
But anyways...I'm quite upset that Alex could be more sick because of me. I knew that it was karma. And I take all the blame (for the sickness I have and Alex's). I hope that my bf is okay..
:+:*:.Love and Balance.:*:+:
Everyday at school I would see mutiple of couples kissing and hugging...it made me feel crazy and my cousin just thinks I'm weird. "Is it my fault that I, too, want to kiss and hug my boyfriend? Is it wrong to wish to do what couples do?" I knew I couldn't do anything about it....since my boyfriend is in California--making it 6 states between us!! Although I wish I didn't see an Asian couple making out while I was walking to Lunch. ><;;*~*~*
At least I know that once we meet, we would have strong trust and faith in each other.
+::Love Too Deep::+
There are less that 5 weeks until last day of school (May 24th). I'm quite happy and satisfied with the fact that I have only one year left until I can go to California. I bet my boyfriend is happy, too. ^^ "Heart, soon we will unite with Love".*~*~*
Today, I have a lot of work to do....since Friday is Good Friday (and no school!). I have the Benchmark test for math in Thurday, also the Physics project due. Tomorrow, I have a test on Huckleberry Finn and a test in math. If it wasn't enough, my sister pesters me to help her on HER physic's project. It exhausted me....but I will find peace and continue the last few months of Junior year.
*~*~*
Funny, I've read my bf's blog and it causes quite a stir of emtions within me. For one thing, I was happy that I get to know what is happening in his life, but I'm also sad because I was never updated about his life from him. I guess it's because I have alot to talk about and lots of things to tell and ask him. It's nothing selfish---I wanted to send time together and bond, and by telling about how I was doing will make sure he keeps track on my life. But I know that in order to bond, he has to talk about how he was doing. I told him everything but that doesn't mean that I knew a lot about his daily activites.
*~*~*
Although....we will spend a lot of time together once we meet. But still, I will ask about how he is doing and make sure that I can at least know he is doing well.
::Love to a certain Extend::
Most of the times, you would think you would know your own siblings. But soon you start to wonder how and why is he/she your brother/sister. I got that feeling yesterday. I thought I knew her...but then I realized that she is the complete opposite of me.*~*~*
She is nice to everyone. She's very short-tempered and never truly admit that she is doing something wrong. I have morals and tried my best to make sure that my grand ma will be proud of me. My sister, in the other hand, doesn't seem willing to make anyone happy but herself. What makes it worse is that she is willing to take a picture of her naked body and send it to a guy she doesn't know who lives in New York. I was quite upset when I found out on my grand pa's cellphone. I cried when I found out. My grand ma told me to make sure that she doesn't talk to those people online. But now that she died, I felt like I failed her.
*~*~*
It was a heart-breaking and fustrating moment. She wanted attention over what truly matters. She keeps telling me that she wants a boyfriend, since I do. I told her billions of times that I never intended to have a boyfriend when I first met him; as matter of fact, I was hoping he would just be a friend and nothing more. I feel like she portrays boyfriend as someone who would flatter you to death. It's like she doesn't even care whether the guy loves her for herself or not. Pretty soon, I felt no sympathy nor pity for her.
*~*~*
She never told me why when I asked. She just told me to shut up. I grew angry; she acted like nobody cares or understands her. The fact is that she never opened up to anyone. It's like making a knight break through a castle when the castle doesn't open up its gate. I can't possibly look at her as a human-being. She has no morals. I told even understand how different she is compared to me, her twin sister.
*~*~*
Life is difficult. But one must not give up everything and go to the quickest happiness, for that happiness is bitter sweet. One must not forget right from wrong or mixed them up with what you want or need. What you want isn't always right. One must not forget those who did nothing but cared about you for loneliness with devour your soul with no return.
