Love and their Struggles
One can honestly say that everyone feels lovesick sometimes, couples or singles. I, personally, feel lovesick because my boyfriends must attend to his studies. I know that this is important in order to be more successful in the real world, but I couldn't help but feel lonely. And he would feel the same way. Not getting a chance to spend time with me can cause so much saddness in his heart. But it was for the best. Neither of us want to cause the other to end up failing on his/her school work. *~*~*
My heart normally aches to be with him. But I can't say that I am willing to bother him just to satisfy my needs. And I know that he truly wants to spend time with me also. It is best to find something else to do and try to understand that not everyone's lifestyle is simple. It would be selfish to think that way; just because you want attention doesn't mean that he/she always have time for you. Love comes in a long way and only those trusting, honest, and understanding couples can stay together in the end. It may be hurtful or even depressing but one must remember that "the fruit blooms when it's ready, not when the sun and earth force it".
++February 1st....Let my Heart Live++
Today, I have been told by my second oldest cousin that my grand ma might not make it. My grand ma has been having heart problems...right now, she is in a coma because of a stroke. I may not be crying now...but I know I will be. Denial--I don't want to think that my grand ma is leaving me because she is the only guardian who has truly been there for me and feel how much pain I am going through. Although, I might not have known before, I truly felt that she was like a mother to me....and for all this time..I have been in torture that no one loves me or even know that I existed.
*~*~*
Sometimes I wish I can tell her how lonely I was when I felt like no one even cares about me. I wish to tell her that my life would have disappeared if it haven't for her and my grand father. I hated my life...and even wished that I was dead. But now, to my great horror, I wished nothing more than to see my grand mother alive. I don't care if the world hates my guts. My only family is disappearing and life can't be anymore painful. I thought I knew what it was like to lose someone special..but now, I may experience the pain many have went through.
*~*~*
To Your Heart
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I hate to say good bye
To which I knew that someday
I will fly
next to you; side by side.
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I didn't tell you from the beginning
how much I love you.
now that your life is ending
I only wish that you would awaken again.
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Don't disappear
forever
Please tell me you are here
always and forever.
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I hate to say good bye
To which I knew that someday
I will fly
next to you; side by side. (~and forever more)
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-February 8, 2006-
Wednesday
3:23 am.
De Huyuh passed away
*We'll always love you*
